Upload a WhatsApp chat. Adeo tells you what's really going on.

Twelve years married and our chat was all school runs and shopping lists. The report noticed we stopped asking about each other's days around the time our second started nursery. We talked about it that night.

I wanted it to say he was the bad guy. It didn't. It showed me I always apologised first, even when it wasn't on me. Fair to both of us, and honestly a relief.

The same argument every couple of weeks. It pointed out they all start on Sunday nights and that I go silent while she chases. We actually listened because it didn't pick a side.

Months of memes and no label. It counted: I started almost every conversation, and he only got sweet when I went quiet. Straight talk, never cruel. I'm done waiting.

Our uni group has tens of thousands of messages of pure nonsense. Everyone got a title and a roast with their own quotes. Posted it in the group and nobody worked for an hour.

A few months in and I kept waiting for the catch. It showed we put in the same effort, and that I go cold when he's slow to reply. That's my last relationship talking, not him.

Family group with eleven people and daily flower stickers. It found that my sister quietly settles every argument. I shared it, and even my dad wrote more than a thumbs-up.

Two countries, five hours apart. Our worst fights all started after midnight my time. We read the report together on a call and made a no-serious-talks-after-11 rule.